Dating a girl with borderline personality
2- are there any rules of thumb concerning what to say/not say to prevent outbursts and hate spells, or a way to approach conflict?
Those with BPD commonly mask their dependency and manipulation.
This is because your partner may not only be prone to sudden aggressive behavior or outbursts of temper but also give way to impulsive behavior.
Acts like binge-drinking, excessive spending, sexual promiscuity, drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, self-harming and reckless driving are all common in people with borderline personality disorder.
If that's the case then that's the case, however I would feel an immense sadness leaving someone over an illness; I would feel like part of their problem of it being difficult to maintain relationships. then I manipulate & punish, and my dark side comes and takes me over, where I need no one, I don't talk for days, but there are other triggers for me, but I've been in an out of a particular relationship for nearly 10 years now, just over the past 2 years we've started to understand it a little more and more.
watch out for the splitting of the borderline & others, which is basically a powerful black and white thinking coping mechanism, this can be very confusing for both borderline & partner, borderlines can be real loving people, but we need to be shown that we're loved every day, as our minds have a "love amnesia" we know that love exists but we really don't believe in it, it's a tough ride being in a relationship with a borderline my fiancé says but it's what makes me me, hope this helps a little, any questions just ask, I'll try to help as much as I can, but maybe a femail borderline may give a little better insight hi mate, from a male point of view, I don't think anyone can say what not to say, to stop an outburst, as everyone has different triggers, but saying that, abandonment is a biggie for me!